Anonymous Turmoiler: Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

I’ve been really depressed over the past few months.

I’ve known for about 2 years now that my parents were going to move to Colorado in June, but now that it’s only 5-6 months away, it’s all becoming too real. I’m 23, lived all my life in Jersey, and I’ve been in such a predicament over whether I should move with them or stay here in NJ with my boyfriend. The thing is, I’ve always wanted to move. NJ doesn’t do anything for me. It’s too expensive and people aren’t exactly the friendliest around here. It’s a pretty boujee area in my county.

Colorado is a beautiful state and all of my dream jobs are there.

Boulder got #1 happiest place to live (and who doesn’t want all of the happiness am I right?!) I also don’t want to live across the country from my parents because, not only are they my best friends, I also don’t want to have to fly in all of the time. Plus, I’m a major worrier and always think something bad is going to happen.

The reason I’m struggling with this is because my boyfriend just got his dream job as a cop in NJ and has to live here for 30 years to be in the pension system. His family and best friends are all here, so he can’t really move. And I can’t commit to spending 30 years of my life in the same place. I don’t have many friends here (at all) and he’s really all I have left. Some may say “I’m too young to worry about marriage at 23” (ugh), but I really feel like he’s my person. He balances me out perfectly. I’m an anxious ball of wreck and he’s the most cool calm and collected person I’ve ever met. He gets me.

So bottom line, I don’t know what to do. I’ve always been the type of person to like everything planned out in my life.

And with this situation coming up in 6 months, I’m freaking out. I go into periods of serious depression where I don’t get out of bed for days. I think about this constantly. I obsess over it. Do I chose my parents or the love of my life? There’s pros and cons to each. I think I’m going to do a 6 month trial period there because if I don’t try it out I’ll always regret it. I just wish my life would turn out to be a fairy tale where he’ll realize how much he’s missing me and move out too.

But life isn’t usually like that. So that’s my story.