Dat CalabASSa Doe.

No one ever looks at me and says, “Damn, dat ass doe,” but it’s fine because I’m totally self aware and I know my ass is not as plump as a calabASSa squash.

Please, save your tiny violin symphony. I’m not mad about it. Now that we got that little tid bit of TMI out of the way, shall we move on to the real reason you’ve clicked your way over here? We shall. Calabaza squash is the forgotten sister of fall delicacies. Butternut gets way too much credit for being the sweet potato of squashes. This is the sweetest, most syrupy squash you will ever eat. I double-dog promise you. And that’s legit.

But every rose has its thorns. And for Calabaza, that’s its cutting and prepping challenges.

I think we can all agree that sometimes, those with the roughest exteriors are actually the softest on the inside. That’s kind of the way I think about Calabaza. Cutting into that PLUMPkin can be such a hassle and with this instant gratification world in which we live, it’s enough to turn a lot of people away from it. What a sin. Because I know how much you will absolutely die over this recipe, I’ve decided to spill the beans and share my prepping secrets.

Step 1:

Pre-heat your oven to 400 degrees. Wash the squash. Supermarkets are nasty and you don’t know whose grimy hands were all up in your squash.

Step 2:

Poke lots of holes in the skin of the squash. If you’re angry at your significant other, this is a great exercise to release some aggression. You’re welcome.

Step 3:

Place your squash on a plate and heat for 2 minutes. Flip it on to the other side and microwave again for another 1-2 minutes, depending upon the size of your squash, strength of your microwave, and how soft it already feels.

Step 4:

Your squash should be a bit softer—not fully cooked but delicate enough to cut into without accidentally chopping off a finger in the process. Cut in half and scoop out the seeds.

Step 5:

Cut into desired shapes. I like to cube mine, but you can use this time to release your inner artist. Go on, get creative my little turmoilers. It’s good for the soul.

Step 6:

Place your squash in a big Ziploc bag and pour in some cinnamon and pumpkin spice. Seal the bag shut—unless you want a cloud of cinnamon to burst up and blind you—and shake until the squash is evenly coated.

Step 7:

Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Spread your squash out so each piece is touching the surface (not piled on top of each other). Bake for about 20 minutes. Flip over and bake again until soft and syrupy.

Step 8:

Eat it all in one sitting. Rumor has it, it’ll go straight to DAT ASS.