Not Goldilocks' Porridge

I feel like I can relate to Goldilocks on a personal level. She made unintelligent choices in the name of carbs.

Not only did she break into a stranger’s home in the middle of the forest (where were her parents????), she proceeded to eat the prepared bowls of porridge that happened to have been left out in the kitchen. Can’t say I blame her—carbs are tempting, man. Then, in the woes of her carb-coma, she took it upon herself to test out the furniture in the living room. We all need a little siesta after a big bowl (or 3) of carbs, right? And when the chair just wouldn’t suffice, she literally moseyed on up the stairs and tried out all the beds like it was a damn Sleepy’s Mattress Store. This bitch knows no boundaries. Savage.

Forget diamonds, carbs are a girl’s best friend. I know it. You know it. Goldi knows it.

Stop running from the things that bring you happiness. That’s like…self sabotage. Carbs can’t speak, so I feel a personal responsibility to speak for them. Carbs are friends AND food. Just eat the right ones and pair them with some protein and healthy fats and you’ve got yourself a nourishing, nutritionist-approved meal. I know some Instagram ~ health gurus ~ post about their “veggie oatmeal” and I just have to say that I am NOT here for that fad. If it’s your thing, great. But the consistency does not work for me, fam. This burcher-oatmeal is packed with smooth, creamy oats, crunchy granola and hemp seeds, and sweet vegan protein.

If Goldilocks got her delinquent hands on this porridge, she’d never steal another bear’s bowl again.

Burcher-Oatmeal Bowl

The Goods:

• 1/2 cup GF rolled oats (I used Bob’s Red Mill)

• 1/4 cup granola (I used Early Bird Foods)

• 1 Tbs hemp seeds (I used Manitoba Harvest)

• 1/2 scoop protein powder (I used PESCience Cinnamon Delight)

• 1 cup nut milk (I used Elmhurst Hazelnut Milk)

• 1 Tbs raisins

• 1 Tbs crushed cashews

• 1 sliced banana

The Run Down:

1. Mix all dry ingredients in a bowl until well combined.

2. Add in the nut milk and stir.

3. Add the sliced banana and stir. Make sure you don’t leave any protein powder clumps—really stir that bad boy up.

4. You may add more liquid to reach your desired consistency.

5. Overnight Version: Pop it in the fridge and eat heat it up in the morning (or eat it cold!)

6. Morning Version: Pop it in the microwave for 1 minute. Stir. Microwave again for 1 minute and stir. Depending upon the container/bowl used and the strength of your microwave you may need to add a bit more heating time.

7. Scarf it down like Goldilocks, but try not to pass out on a stranger’s bed.